So I did some thinking, and talked with my Dad over this weekend. We dug and realized something, and to explain this I'm going to go a little into my background.
One of my major problems that not only affects my trading, but also affects the rest of my life is my past experience with ice hockey. I had worked very hard, and always did my best (my goal was to become pro). I would always be one of the top players (or the best player) on all of the teams I played for. However when I hit the higher levels of the sport I discovered what team sports are really like. I wasn't the social type (and still am), didn't like to party, kept my mouth shut, and my dad wasn't kissing the coaches'/other parents' butts. So when I went out for Jr. B teams I wouldn't be picked because I didn't know anyone and didn't kiss up to anyone (I also wasn't the typical dumb hockey fighter either). The final straw was when I tried out for the last Jr. B team on my list. I had known the coaches from receiving private lessons from them more than twice a week for the past 3 years. They were former pros and semi-pros who knew I was good. Yet when try outs came they still picked people I knew were worse than me and left me hanging out to dry. These other guys were either the son of the OSU college hockey team, the booster club head's son, etc.
So, to shorten the story a little I wound up moving to Colorado and becoming a ski bum for a few years. I had just gave up on everything and couldn't get motivated for anything. I figured "why bother?" you're only going to work hard to get nowhere. I had blamed myself for my hockey experience, thinking that it must've been something wrong with me and not them. This "why bother?" attitude wound up burying itself in my subconscious, and lingering up until now. The talk I had with my dad over this weekend helped me to realize it was there. Now that I have grown up (some, I'm still in my 20's and have a lot to learn) my dad was able to get through to me that it's their fault, not mine. I did my best and would have been the best had they let me. Working hard and staying dedicated to something will get me rewards. Just stick to it and it will work out.
I hope I didn't bore you to death, but now you know why I've decided to continue trading. With my new attitude and drive it will succeed. I also hope this may help someone else out there who has been burnt by people in the past. Don't let them bring you down, you can do it.